My life really is a sitcom.....

It amazes me how my life, while I am living the moment, doesn't seem too exciting or funny, but looking at it after the fact, it is downright humorous. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

You all know that I rented a car, vero? Well, I am trying to fly under the radar screen for obvious reasons, and what kind of car do they give me???? A walking billboard for the rental company, with the name written across both doors. What the hell???!!!! Only me I tell you, only me. Oh, it is made by Mercedes Benz, so I am driving a Benz while in Italy. But it sucks! It is soooo light that when traveling on the autostrada, if a car passes me, I can easily lose control of the car and swerve to the right. Yeah, solid crapsmanship (spelling intented).

Then, did I tell you the night that Zia chased me from the kitchen into the dining room with a spatula, trying to smack my ass??? Really, you need to picture this....Zia is not a small woman. Here I am, I just took a shower, no bra, glasses, in a little dress and flipflops. We were in the kitchen, I forget what she said, but I replied, "Cool that down, sistah" and started to walk away, when I felt this swoosh behind me and realized that she was chasing me with the spatula. We ended up in the dining room, where Mario was playing with his phone, not knowing what the hell happened. His mother comes out of the kitchen hysterical, and we all collapse on the couch, hysterically laughing.

Another night, Zia was having some problems with her back, so I offered to rub her down before bed. So I go into my room to change and get comfortable. I walk into her room and start laughing hysterically. On the bed next to his mother was Zia, on her stomach, her nighty up around her neck, her BADs (Big Ass Drawers, a/k/a panties) lowered so all I saw was a big white crack. As I stood there laughing, the only thing I could muster to say was "Just say no to crack".

Well, I now can say I had a threesome. Not what I thought it would be, but we all came away from it feeling quite satisfied. During yesterday's siesta time, I rubbed down his mother and gave her a little healing. I was tired afterwards and they told me to stay in their bed and nap with them. So we have his mother, me in the middle and Zia to my right. After the healing and I am laying there, they both decide to start massaging me. You have to understand that I am getting shiatsu massage from a woman whose hands look like wings they are so disfigured, with each one of them trying to outdo the other. We all had a great, restful nap. I just wanted to know where the hell was the camera when you need it????!!!!! I told Mario about it and all he could do was shake his head and say he was glad he wasn't home to witness it. Too funny I tell you.

Well, in a couple of days, Zia will be back in Australia and I will be back in Rome. Looking forward to living back in the city and with Audrey. Although the past week or so has been much more relaxing with Mario and his mother. I don't know what it is, but they are both softer and kinder to me than before. Maybe being my authentic self and not collapsing under their ruthless attention, has made them realize that I don't care about the minuscia like they do. I don't know. All I know is that today, I feel different. I can't quite place my finger on it. I feel calm. I feel relaxed. Maybe it is because I know I am leaving. Getting back to the city and where I am happier. I can always visit, but I wouldn't want to live here. They had been quite generous, but I need to be in a city setting, where there are things happening, etc.

I am also nervous about leaving to come to the states. It is 20 days away, and I am nervous. See, it is easier to deal with my mother and aunt when they are 4,000 miles away and are on a cell phone. To be face to face with them, they will be on me like white on rice. Not looking forward to it. There are 2 ways that it will go, one is they will ignore me (so to speak) and the other will be that they will bombard me. But it is funny, I've changed. I spoke with my mom yesterday, to wish her a happy birthday and she was down my brother's house. She put the kids on and had them say things like "Cioci, I am waiting for you to take me to Vinnie's (corner store)" and "When are you coming home?" And it was funny, it didn't pull on the heartstrings like it did before. I think I finally am comfortable with my decision to stay. I am true in my conviction that I would like to try this for a while, to see if I can make it here. If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere, it's up to me, Roma Roma, Roma Roma........

For it is up to me. I can make the change. I will give up my resistance to change. My thoughts will reflect the love and respect I have for myself. I want only the best for me. Whatever that might be.....

Maybe I will be the next sitcom star......I Love Lulu.....Oooohhhhhh Ricky............

And on that note....CCFN
Baci Baci